February is always pink. When I was in elementary school, we had a bulletin board that got changed each month. It had events and other special pieces of information on it, but February was always themed pink, red, and white. Why? Valentine’s Day, of course. It’s almost like there was nothing of note in the whole month except a relatively minor holiday about romance. What a bummer for an eight-year-old boy! Who needs all that lovey-dovey mush? That’s girl stuff!

If you are in love, Valentine’s Day might be great (or stressful!), but if you are alone, longing for someone to connect with, it can be depressing beyond description. The word “love” that pops up everywhere can be oppressive and abrasive. We can’t escape “love”, especially in the Church.

Did you know the Ancient Greeks had more than one word for love? The lowest form of love was “porneo”. This is the physical act of love: what we would call sexuality. It requires the lowest form of commitment and connection, and although considered a valuable part of life, it was not really a virtue or something to ascribe to.

Next up on the love ladder was “eros”. This is romantic love, like what we get all worked up over in February. This was the emotional bond that grows between two people and was considered of greater worth than just physical attraction. Yet, as powerful as it could be, it was still in the bottom half of the list.

Higher still is “filio”. This is brotherly love. Sisterly love counts too. This expresses the kind of devotion and commitment that goes beyond current emotions or “am I happy with this person right now”. We sometimes argue with family or close friends, but we don’t “stop loving them”. If we do, that is not love. Filio was often talked about like what we would call “war buddies”. A bond of trust and dependence that transcends shared opinions or affections, and in many ways, is far stronger than both: a lifelong commitment to “have your back”. The Bible uses this word sometimes, but we translate it as “love”, and thus tend to equate it with affection.

Now the gold standard: by far, the favorite form of “love” that Jesus used was “agape”. This is the highest and ultimate form of love. It is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. It is rarely seen outside scripture. It is something beyond normal human interaction, but the core of Christianity. This love says, I am yours. I am here to give of myself for your wellbeing. I am devoted to you. It is not about me, it’s about you. It is what Christ calls us to have for Him, and others. It is the kind of love He had for us.

This is what St. Valentine knew. He was martyred for illegally performing weddings. Valentine wasn’t modeling “eros” with each couple. He was modeling “agape”. That is what St. Valentine’s Day is all about. He sacrificed everything because of his love for others. If romance is in the cards for you this year, great: I wish you and your significant other a wonderful dinner or whatever you are doing. But this holiday is not for them. It is for all who are willing to celebrate selfless, unconditional devotion to others. That lasts longer than one day. Let that be- make that be- every day!

Pastor Evan Elwell

Pomeroy Church of the Nazarene